this is how i look at the computer screen when i'm mixing. it's a blend of hatred and confusion. knowing that just one more piece of this puzzle could bust this thing wide open. today we're working on a song called "keep my word" for the musical group 'cmg and the we are the night band.' damn this track is smooth but it's missing that something special.

i can feel mike's disappointment with me without even having to turn around.


there he is. there's a look in his eyes that suggests it's over. but he doesn't say anything. he's watching me squirm and suffer like some half stepped on bug. look at his eyes. just winter.

nothing makes him cry. i remember once in school after he got done humiliating some poor dude by pulling down his pants in front of everyone, and while this kid's pants were around his ankles, mike just pushed him off the auditorium stage and stares into crowd. slowly, he raised his middle finger into the air and then just pissed himself with disgust for his peers.

now imagine that same guy, but like twelve years older, with some hard living under his belt, with his eyes burning through my skull as i nervously try to figure out what the hell this song needs to put it to rest. you try to work with that kind of loaded-gun-to-the-temple kind of shit going on.



so at this point i'm running out of options. i slowly swivel the chair around and we sit silent for a good three minutes. either i'm going to kill him first or he's going to kill me. but at the same time we just call out one name.

fish hands.


fish hands is not a guy you want to fuck with either. he's the mean looking guy on the right with a grey orb trying to cover up his soul. any kind of mess or situation you can find yourself in at the studio he can get you out of. saved the last novi split record, no doubt. he came in like a pro. told me what tea to make him, pulled out the upright bass and told me to press record and get out of his face. and i did.


a few minutes later he was out of there and we were just left with the track. sat back and pressed play. the bass playing was amazing. the lows could get no lower. the song completed.

it was the first time i'd ever seen mike cry.